


any/none

by aelescribe



Category: Dungeons and Daddies (Podcast)
Genre: Gen, Lark and Sparrow are Genderfluid, Nonbinary Henry Oak, a calengender if you will, there's a gender chart because its henry and mercedes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-29
Updated: 2021-01-29
Packaged: 2021-03-15 16:49:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 561
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29067567
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aelescribe/pseuds/aelescribe
Summary: He was comfortable in his masculinity. He was comfortable with himself. But there was something spinning inside him that he didn't understand and looking at it too long might render it real, might bring it to life, might give it name.
Comments: 6
Kudos: 20





	any/none

**Author's Note:**

> short and sweet, some musings on the manifestation of gender in the oak-garcia household :) as someone who relies on labels to articulate my personhood, my gender struggles have allowed me to understand that's not all their is to it.
> 
> theres a brief mention to misgendering cuz henry struggles with lark and sparrows pronouns changing on the daily cuz hes struggling w his own internalized shit and trauma. in this fic, on this particular day, they kids use she/they respectively. this is meant to explore one's own exploration of gender leading to a better understanding.
> 
> also of COURSE the oak garcias have a genderboard and a little bowl of pronoun pins and stickers for everyone who goes in and out of their household what are you NUTS

All it took was Lark and Sparrow bounding down the stairs together at mach speed for Mercedes to know their gender that day. They were raised given the context of their birth and knowing that alone did not dictate how they identified or how they chose to present. As they aged, the Oak-Garcias worked out a multimedia method of articulation based on empathetic communication. 

What Henry dubbed a “ _Calengender_ ” was affixed to the fridge. A row of seven boxes for each twin was all the space they needed to describe in words or pictures how their feelings of gender were manifesting that day. Before they sat down for breakfast, they had to adjust their pin on the Pronoun Pinwheel so they could be referred. 

(Not a pinwheel, but the alliteration was more snappy, so they went with it.)

Mercedes noticed Henry had a hard time with it. And that he was having a very hard time having a hard time. 

It was something intuitive. Lark didn’t need to intellectualize how her gender fluidity manifested for Mercedes to understand. She only had to glance at Wednesday’s intrepid cactus doodle to know how Lark felt. Likewise, Sparrow’s initial scribbles of the Doodler manifested in their dysphoria. 

While encouraging his children’s creativity, Henry still struggled with these concepts.

He needed the understanding that came with words, concrete, legislative, defining. He needed the intellectual understanding so he could enthusiastically give them what they needed. Which was difficult, and he knew this, because gender was such a nebulous concept. 

He struggled with pronouns and had to double, triple-check the fridge, stuttered over _beautiful boys_ —as overall loving as he was, there were attachments he still had yet to let go. Mental roadblocks he didn’t quite understand.

(Mercedes thought it had something to do with his parents, his father, but she knew better than to ask. Henry couldn’t talk about them, couldn’t articulate, couldn’t _remember_ enough to know why he felt the way he felt.)

(He was comfortable in his masculinity. He was comfortable with himself. But there was something spinning inside him that he didn't understand and looking at it too long might render it real, might bring it to life, might give it _name_.)

(And that is a consequence they could not face.)

Lark and Sparrow would cajole him whenever he messed up, quite aware of their father’s shortcomings, and his inability to reprimand them (especially when failing to follow through on his moral convictions). The way their self assuredness _wounded_ him left her wondering. 

It was when they returned, Henry’s arms slung around his children’s shoulders, smile bright and bold, that Mercedes… _noticed_.

That sense, that thing, that _whatever_ she sensed with Lark and Sparrow had come unburdened from Henry’s chest. Their open heart lay beating, receiving, ready. She didn’t understand it. But she didn’t need to.

Neither did Henry. There were no words to describe it, so why rely on words at all? The need to commodify his experience with understanding, dumbing themself down so others were more comfortable, had completely vanished. It did not exist in their household any longer. 

Sparrow, ever sensitive, drew an even split down his week so Henry had room on the calendar. Lark slotted a new badge with Henry's name onto the Pronoun Pinwheel. 

Mercedes kissed away the tears under their glasses and got started on breakfast. 


End file.
